YOU only have to compare your love life to a movie laden with love scenes, romance and hot bodies to realize your relationship could do with a little spruce up! Too often we are neglectful, emotionally drained or just too plain tired to step it up but statistics show a lack of effort and care in the bedroom is the main reason marriages break down and fall apart. 

There are always reasons why we do not have the time or an inclination to make romance a priority, but unless these most common mistakes people let happen in the bedroom are fixed you too could become a statistic:

1. Fatigue and exhaustion take precedence 

2. Stress creates tension

3. The television is always on

4. Going to sleep on an argument 

5. Kids are in the bed

6.The bedroom is no longer a romantic environment

7.Take one another for granted

8.The pillow talk stops

9.No initiation from one or both parties for love making

10. Rejection, criticism and negativity

If you feel even one of these is creeping into your relationship then awareness is the first step in creating change. Life is busy. There will always be reasons why at times we do not make our relationship a number one priority – but there is NO excuse to let it slip out of control.

Whilst there may be no such thing as the ‘perfect’ relationship, there is such a thing as being imperfectly perfect. All relationships take effort, patience, contribution, commitment and understanding. Honoring the partnership, making time for each other and supporting your partner to be their best is one of the most amazing privileges of all.

Instead of letting small issues become major mistakes take the lead and talk it out. Conversations over a meal, date nights, pillow talk and time out all make perfect scenarios to discuss feelings, reasons why there may be a problem and if there are any concerns. 

One of the best things to do in the bedroom is create connecting rituals and agree never to go to sleep on an argument. Light Vaporiser, use calming oils like Destress & Revive, Instant Calm or Romance & Intimacy. Dim the lights, turn off all technology and create a magical, safe space for you both to be. Be careful with your words when discussing problems. Ask questions. Be gentle, be honest and don’t take anything personally.  Remember if your partner is upset, criticising something or blaming you often they are more upset with themselves, or something else is going on and they just happen to be taking it out on you. 

Another great ritual you can bring into your relationship no matter what has gone on in your day, no matter how tired you both are is you must say three things each you are grateful for in your life that day. Non-negotiable, just start doing it. If your partner is a little hesitant – or thinks it’s a bit weird – then coach them. Ask the best three things about their day and acknowledge how blessed you both are. They will soon get the hang of it and actually enjoy the positive feelings it brings!

Taking the time for these bedroom rituals to listen and care is often what we crave most. When we create a safe haven to just be… the trust is created, connections are greater, more love-making occurs, conversation flows and the happier and healthier we are.