When you were born, your mother looked at you as though you were a perfect angel. You were a miracle made with the best of everything, perfect hands and feet, a button nose and the sweetest nature. You even thought you were perfect until you became aware of what you perceived to be imperfections!
So how did life change? At what point do we find ourselves grown up and empty, lost or alone?
When you think about where we have come from, where history has carved its path, it’s hard to imagine us ever failing at all. Our forefathers and foremothers came with generations of wisdom, knowledge, skills, survival techniques, determination and achievements. Hard to imagine that you shouldn’t have inherited some of those qualities! You are a product of all their mastery. And therefore there is an abundance of possibilities inside you, regardless of what has been present in your life so far.
Have you noticed when you hear yourself saying ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I look terrible’ or ‘I could never do that’. These are actually messages from your inner critic, who if we don’t learn to befriend, unfortunately becomes our own worst enemy. Would you ever say these things so openly, in this way, to someone who needed a pick-me-up? If you repeat negative criticisms over and over they can feel like they become a reality. It could feel like your inner critic is constantly looking for you to fail, break down or fall.
Maybe its time to show the inner critic who is running your life! Remind it just how brilliant you are. Even small things like ‘I did that really well’ or ‘Gosh, I’m learning lots’ can alter the way you feel mentally, emotionally, even physically.
There is no doubt we all have an inner critic. We struggle with it and can fall into the trap of believing it at times. But what if you could see your inner critic as a guide – that when it appears it is actually a time to check in with your true inner feelings. Take it as a reminder. Turn whatever is being said into a positive, or learn to let those thoughts come and go as we may never learn to stop it and trust. Learn to be responsive only to the good things you know are true. The key to living life fully is to acknowledge your inner critic, but don’t live by it.
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Lord Buddah
The subconscious is where you hold all your beliefs. It is through the subconscious that we view our world. The beliefs which are anchored here are not rational. The subconscious mind accepts whatever information it is fed and then looks for evidence to support it. If you find your inner critic saying things like ‘I’m so fat’, or ‘Nothing works out for me’, your subconscious takes this on board as the truth.
And you may find that is exactly how your world appears. You may well be overweight or struggling to lose weight. Everything you do may feel like a challenge or an effort. After all, every thought we think is creating our future.
The exciting thing is that you can speak positive and affirming suggestions into your life just as easily as negative ones. Become aware of your self-talk, master that inner critic and re-frame the language you use to be constructive and positive. It is like forming a new habit: If you practice for long enough, particularly if you give yourself a challenge such as 28 days, you will start to break old patterns and notice positive benefits manifesting themselves in all areas of your life.
When sleeping women wake, mountains move. Chinese Proverb
How true is that? Affirmations are a very effective way to wake up a part of you that might have been asleep for a while. You can use positive self-talk and affirmations to anchor into your subconscious. They can even be in the form of prayer. Affirmations are phrases you repeat to yourself on a daily basis. It is not important that you don’t believe them at first, you may will see results anyway. Gradually, you come to believe the statements and they will become your reality.
It is a good idea to write your statements on cards and place these around your environment where you will see them every day: on the fridge, bathroom mirror, beside your bed, in your car, in your diary, on your desk at work etc. Let’s look at some examples:
I never have enough money – I am prosperous, I always have money flowing into my life.
I don’t like the way I look – I accept and love myself.
I can’t seem to lose weight – I have a healthy, slender body.
Nothing is easy – I trust the process of life. Life is fulfilling and rewarding.
I don’t have time – I know there is enough time for everything. I appreciate all that I do.
Healthy food is boring – I am open to experience new healthy tastes. My body is nourished by its goodness.
I can never find the right partner – I welcome a loving, caring relationship into my life.
I’m not good enough to do that – I am a confident, capable person. I make a difference.
Always formulate your affirmations in the present tense. ‘I have’ or ‘I am’ is a good way to start. Your subconscious mind is so obedient that if you declare your affirmation in the future tense, such as ‘I want’ or ‘I will have’, then it will always stay just out of your reach – in the future. Start to listen to yourself and others carefully. If you find people say ‘you always say that’, take heed. They may be revealing something about yourself you weren’t aware of.
As an exercise, try this: Stand naked in front of your mirror and really look at yourself. Listen to the words that instantly come to mind. Do you instantly criticise and express your unhappiness with different parts of your body? Or do you appreciate, value and honor what you have regardless of its perceived imperfections?
Maybe it is time to take a reality check and know there are people out there who would give anything for your problems. Try to retrain your mind with more positive affirmations. It is common to criticise when we compare ourselves to the unreal images surrounding us in the advertising or beauty industry. So your legs don’t look like the ones in the glossy magazines – but they are strong, they carry you through life, they allow you to walk no matter what shape or size. It is easy to lose perspective until you speak to someone who has lost the use of theirs. Realising your thoughts do at times get out of perspective allows you to pull back and gain a positive balance again.
Using affirmations is a powerful tool, but one that needs to be practiced. Choose every day to be in awe of yourself and aim to only see the goodness in you, and the good things you can do. Be aware of the language you use to communicate. Here’s another challenge to practice. Every day for the next 28 days tell someone something you admire or love about them. And this could be complete strangers, service you have received, the way someone looks, how someone treats you, writing a surprise note for someone special… Give it a try and see how good it feels!
The next 28 days your challenge is to try doing all those things for someone you know really well… YOU!
Now to fully anchor it in add essential oils. Choose your favorite
blend or single oil and do a caring ritual to affirm the positivity. It
could be a few drops into your body oil or moisturiser to massage all
over your body as you say something kind. It could be your diffuser or
vaporiser that you add 6-8 drops of Instant Calm to and say something nice as you light
it. Maybe a bath with 4-6 drops of Peace & Meditation and as you immerse yourself into it say
something beautiful. Or maybe on your next walk or run add a few drops of Detox & Strengthen
onto a tissue and place it inside your bra or top then each time you
inhale the aroma say how proud you are of yourself. You will be amazed
at how good it feels. And it is a habit you should get used to!
Have faith in yourself, knowing that you can make a positive change by creating positive habits. This easy habit of positive affirmations not only affects your own life but will also affect those around you. It has that ripple effect which comes from self-acceptance and learning to be your own best friend.
Be kind, take care xx