The blog this week Owning Your Decisions is beautifully written by 19 year old HLE graduate Rachel Favilla on a topic that I dare say most of us know we should be doing but feel the dishonesty, excuses or guilt overrides its need! I am blown away by her maturity and understanding at such a young age.
Owning Your Decisions by Rachel Favilla
When I think of the phrase ‘self-care’, three pictures come to mind;
1. My medicine cabinet chocked full of Twenty8 bottles and jars
2. Myself wearing a face mask, whilst in an Epsom salt bath
3. The beach at sunset
It’s always the surface-level things that spring to mind, yet I know, on a more reflective and conscious level, that self-care is much deeper than walking barefoot on the sand or washing my face. Self-care begins in the mind, and the first step is letting go of the following three critters;
Dishonesty occurs when we aren’t being our authentic selves. We’d like to be doing one thing but end up doing another. It’s similar, I suppose, to knowing better but choosing not to do better. Being dishonest with oneself can conjure up some pretty undeniable guilt. So we create excuses that justify what we’re currently doing, regardless of how destructive it is to our overall health and lifestyle. Many of us do this without even being aware of it. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve done this plenty of times (and sadly, have become convinced that my excuses, no matter how illogical or petty, are valid).
At its absolute worst, the destructive trilogy of dishonesty, guilt and excuses can drive you to unintentionally jump to conclusions, make judgements and then feel worse about yourself.
Hands up who feels guilty when someone else appears to eat healthier, exercise harder, get more done, be a better daughter/sister/friend/mother/wife etc. or whatever else it is? Keep your hand up if you then compare yourself to them, which just perpetuates the guilt? Finally, keep your hand raised high above your head if you then manifest excuses that justify why you ‘can’t’ do what they’re doing?
Yep, me too. I’ve definitely been here. And it’s so common and normal to find yourself at this point every once in a while. Yet here’s the thing; YOU own the empowering right to either change your habits, or choose to feel comfortable in staying put!
When we have an incongruence between what we want to do and what we actually do, we can either;
a) Change our incongruent behaviours, or;
b) Decide to own what we’re doing and release the guilt
When you feel comfortable with your decisions, you don’t need to lie to yourself, feel guilty or make excuses that justify your behaviour. This simple revelation is overwhelmingly empowering don’t you think?
So the next time you feel the need to make an excuse that justifies your behaviour (or justify why it’s ‘easier for someone else’ to do what you think you should be doing), take a moment, spritz your face with a balancing and calming synergy blend, breathe and question where this sensation is coming from. Excuses only ever make their way to the surface when dishonesty and guilt is involved.
So choose to be honest, demonstrate integrity and embrace authenticity (… and leave excuses at the door, you’re far too empowered for that!).